Girls can be horrible creatures. I would never normally show an ounce of sympathy towards the male species, but (and before you decide at this point that I am definitely a sad ugly feminist man hater, I’m not) I have to say that living in a world that is half populated by girls must be horrific. If not horrific, then baffling. Because girls behave in a way that only they understand and collectively partake in, even though it causes most of their problems.
Let me explain. Since I started going out to clubs, a series of rituals has emerged. When a group of girls enter a club, they head straight for the toilets. This doesn’t mean we are all cocaine addicts. It means we probably need the toilet and a hair fix after queuing in gale force winds for two hours, wearing a top as a dress. But the first toilet visit is also about marking territory. Groups of girls hog sections of mirror, eyeing up each others’ outfits, bitching indiscreetly about the girls downstairs who aren’t part of their ‘loo crew’.
While eye liner and blusher is frantically applied and plans of action for the night are discussed, the boys are probably sitting around the club, looking cool, sipping lagers, waiting. I wouldn’t know, because I would be in the toilet. But I imagine that boys feel extremely grown up and sensible when faced with a club full of girls trying to out-dance each other. And I know that they secretly enjoy breaking up a catfight when one too many vodka red bulls leads to Girl Number One kissing the bloke Girl Number Two really fancied two years ago, even though said bloke was never interested in either of them and just wants to go home.
I do love being a girl. I just wish that sometimes we could stop, take a look at ourselves, and realize that most of the time, we are all bickering over nothing.
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